No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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