You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
