I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
