i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
