But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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