we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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