I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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