Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
