Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
