apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
