So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
