she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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