Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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(949): View more from California

...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail

(949): View more from California

ps not my toothbrush awkward.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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(845): View more from New York

I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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(727): View more from Florida

at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.

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(917): View more from New York City

hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

(908): View more from New Jersey

AMAZING.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.

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