tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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