another moral hangover. fuck.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
