I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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