Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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