my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
