Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
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No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You don't make any sense
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