Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
