Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
