didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
