why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
