I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i drank out of a bidet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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