if i can run in heels then i can drive
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
high people should be assigned attendants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
