I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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