well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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