mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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