who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
