I'm really into asian looking animals
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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