Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
