he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
