who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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