Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
