We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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