its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
