Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
