You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
is it fun? or sober?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
