just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
