she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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