grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
