I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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