how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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