I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
