ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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