ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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