I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
