Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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