Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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