So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
