I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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