Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
