So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
