she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
operation harelip BJ is a go
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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