Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
