I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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