So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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