the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
