the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
