and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
