So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
