I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
