Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
