WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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