Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
