He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
