So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
