it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
